Silvercloud's Sentiments

I leave my body lying calm,
In childish curve of sleep.
Whilst a soul of light begins its flight,
Tumbling towards the mysteries of night.

Thousands of spirits soar the skies,
In effortless, endless dance.
Entrancing beauty shimmers and shines,
As souls revive in the Spirit Land.

These nocturnal ventures, pilgrims of psyche,
Are special ways of spiritual healing.
Allow your Inner Child freedom and feeling,
And you'll learn to love yourself again.

Don't despair of endless pining,
Rain cannot fall forever.
Soon the sun will shine again,
Every cloud has a silver lining

I spend each day and endless night,
Searching for something lost.
But the cruel wind came and without a thought,
Blew it out of sight.

I’m looking now for some salvation,
A key to this painful mystery.
I may strive for answers high and low,
But I’ll not find them across this nation.

There is no right, wrong, healthy or ill,
This is me now and there’s no way out.
I’m imprisoned deep within my mind,
Chances of recovery fallen to nil.

I’m burning inside with crazy flames,
And they lick me,
With their acid.
I’m so tired of these twisted games.
I’m going down without a fight.

There’s a storm tearing me apart,
And I’m lonely,
In it’s eye.
I haven’t the strength to play my part.
I’m going down without a fight.

I’m riding crests of agony,
Then plunge into despair.
Curling mists of confusion,
Rise from an angry sea.

I’m drowning, oh, so slowly,
Drawn towards the abyss.
I shudder at the darkness,
Guessing along my way.

And the pain.
It still.
Bounces around my skull.
Again and again and again.

I crouch down further within myself,
And will it all away.
For I am bound and gagged by pain,
That dulls the world to grey.

Night time is the time for terror,
When my fears form flesh and blood.
But the sky is bright yet nothing’s right,
And my thoughts ooze blackened flood.

Laughing in the light of day,
My nightmares dance and mock.
More real than myself in my shadowlands,
They’ve cast me out and turned the lock.

Everything's wrong
A hideous song
Going on too long

I want to die
I mustn't try
Blades fly
Blood
A sigh

Emotions controlled
Bandages unrolled
Real tear in my eye
Another sigh

Angry red tear
People stare
I'm upset
With another blood let

Please let it be the last
Heal fast
Internal pain
I hate this game

I'm running along that sea shore,
Happiness and joy intensely raw.
My heart drumming within me,
Synchronising to the swell of the sea.

The sun is hanging low,
Departing with a fiery glow.
Spray from my steps turned to gold,
Too elusive to have and to hold.

Every thought is tinged with elation,
I move with no care of destination.
The smile creasing my face,
Has risen from some timeless place.

I cannot slow down or take a rest,
Despite the drumming within my chest.
The pain of labour fades the thrill,
But I run on still.

Exhilaration in the speed,
Escaping becomes an unsuppressable need.
I set flight from life's reality,
Running from my own mentality.

Finally the sun slides into the ocean,
With a barely perceivable motion.
Darkness permeates all I view,
And remains despite every morning anew.

Somehow I lost the rhythm,
Of our dance upon the Earth.
That each generation was given,
Instilled upon our birth.

Alone and bereft of friendship,
My mind began to slip.
Beneath the surface of the night,
Sliding quietly out of sight.

I inhaled my final breath,
Welcoming the oblivion of death.
But with surprise I was to find,
A peculiar feeling soothing my mind.

It was a friend reaching out,
Radiating love throughout.
At first there was merely the one,
Then many came along.

Encircling and holding me tight,
They gave me the strength to fight.
Stood by me as I faced my fears,
Gently wiping away the tears.

Now I walk amidst an army,
That marches next to me.
The path climbs torturously uphill,
But I'm propelled by their force of will.

They tell me time heals all,
But time also took a fall.
I'd have lost the strength to climb,
If I'd trusted the passing of time.

Each step I now take leaves a golden glint,
Reflections of my futures' opulent tint.
The ending is no longer viewed tragic,
Due to friends weaving their magic.

In my mind the world is bright
Happiness always in sight
Smiles so light
To the exhilarating roller coaster of life
I hold on tight.

I am kidding myself, born into the wrong dimension
If only someone had thought to mention
All the tension
I'd have far more comprehension
Of what life was really about.

When I was young, drawing my first lung
I had no idea
Of the fear
I'd have to face.

I want to close my eyes, live the lies,
I'd always believed, before they were bereaved.
I want to be free from the black cape,
I want to live in my perfect world, and from this one escape.

I have a war within
Do I give in?
Put this life, far away, in a tin?
Is it such a sin?
To want to live within
My mind?

A little girl runs on eager feet towards the distant future,
Wings of childish dreams spread, she flies high above the rest.
Reality and dreams entwine within an innocent mind, to a silken rope of destined hope.
Towards the horizon and beyond a web of paths extend,
A thousand or more guiding ways to light the steps ahead.
Whilst wonder and enchantment skip, hand in hand, through this golden land of youth.
No end to the joy dripping from every bough, or delicate flowers growing underfoot.
Rainbows rise to greet the dawns and frames the life she leads.
With magical hues of every colour exhaled upon the earth.

But those eyes that glow with the lightness of being are blind to the chaos that darkens the skies,
Where Satan's crooked finger hooks the life-threads of the unsuspecting, living out their lives.
Purple shades of pain are an unknown game to the little girl I see.

II

That little girl was I, but now she's gone,
Too busy laughing at the sun to notice the path she danced upon.
Trauma collided head-on, she died despite barely having begun.

There were never roads that led, nor golden light to guide.
But deep trenches cut by jagged shards of my broken past,
Scarring the landscape of my mind.
And icy winds that claw through the empty shell I've become,
Stilling heart and stopping breath, I've died a half-death.
Frozen to a brittle shadow with a fractured outline,
I am a living shade of grey.

Crashing waves of negativity drive me deep beneath a dark blooded sea,
A place where direction has no meaning and time pauses indefinitely.
I am suspended in time and space, the agony of memories tearing pieces in a trapped soul.
'Til fluttering in the winds of unchanging change a weary spirit flaps,
a rag unravelling before your eyes.

The mirror speaks the truth, it cannot lie.
It shimmers and warps to my critical eye,reflection of the beast I am brings tears to its unseen eye.
The I in the frame dips her head in shame and wishes she could reach out and take away my pain.

No good came out of time already spent, no good will come if I carry on,
I see no point in being, and if being is the point: I see not the point of continuing this life.
So I take the deepest breath, inhale the pain, strain and shame.
Take the boldest step of all.
Empty mind.
Empty heart.
Empty soul.
For the time is getting late, and night will soon be drawing near.

I've tried insomnia pills,
I've tried a day of thrills.
I've tried banging my head,
I've tried holding my ted.

I'm so tired my mind has twisted,
I've used every cure listed.
The sheep fell asleep,
No more could they leap.

It's quiet and it's dark,
No singing of a lark.
It's four o clock in the morning,
Why is insomnia so boring?