Doesn't everyone love Christmas? The food, the family, the fellowship, the fun and games, the giving and receiving, the goodwill, God in His heaven and all right with the world? The short answer is "NO!". Why ever not? OK, there may be some natural Scrooges who fell that the tragedy of 'A Christmas Carol' is that Scrooge was transformed at the end of the story, and had the merriest, maddest Christmas of all. But there are better reasons why many people dread Christmas and find it a time of lonelines and misery.

For people who are on their own, whatever their age, Christmas can be the loneliest time of year and a period to be dreaded. Older and less advantaged people who are alone and depend on social services also have a bad time at Christmas, when most of their lifelines are cut for almost two weeks. Voluntary organisations often rally round but still, the time is fraught. How then, are the depressed, those with sad memories or difficult families and the lonely to survive Christmas?

Christmas is a great family occasion. But not all families are, or were, happy. Perhaps there were rows, separations, poverty, or even abuse. Christmas is a great reminder of times past, and the memories may be painful. Has there been a bereavement in the past year? If so, Christmas brings it painfully home. The missing mother or father, husband or wife, sister or brother is like a 'skeleton at the feast'.

More people become depressed during the winter months as the evenings draw in and the amount of natural daylight is greatly reduced. Christmas is especially terrible for those who are depressed. Depression makes it very difficult to chat or to mingle, to feel part of a throng or to share any joy in company. Christmas makes people who are depressed feel more isolated than ever. They feel that they are bad company, bad news, a drag.....

All too often people feel under pressure to spend, spend, spend at Christmas. From early Autumn we are bombarded with advertisements about all the things we should buy for that one magic day in December. The popular image is of a Christmas table groaning with food and drink and a huge pile of presents around a tree. But Christmas on that scale can be very expensive. It can be especially hard for parents, who can believe they are failing if they can't afford the latest fashion in toys or computer games. If we do give in to the pressure and the feelings of guilt which can surround Christmas and spend more than we can afford, the reckoning is always around the corner. The bills will come in, and will have to be paid. Running up debts is bound to lead to anxiety, stress and even depression. Don't spend more than you can afford. The spirit of Christmas is not to be found in extravagant presents and expensive food and drink. Leave yourself some money over for the new year.

Far from missing family members, for some people Christmas can be a time of family hell. Being cooped up with relatives with whom you have nothing in common, being forced to play games, or make jolly conversation with people you don't really like, can be an experience to be dreaded

To cope with Christmas stress, some people drink too much - perhaps 'to celebrate', or perhaps to help themselves feel more cheerful. Alcohol can be seen by some as a form of 'self-medication'. But as some people become drunk they can become maudlin, and then quarrelsome. It isn't long before old rifts and resentments boil to the surface. From time to time the festivity turns into a fight, leaving injured bodies and, more importantly, injured feelings. It is worth remembering that although alcohol initially provides a 'lift' by lowering inhibitions and helping people feel more sociable, it is actually a depressant. The initial euphoria soon disappears, and people drink more and more to 'top up'. But sooner or later too much alcohol leads to depression and anxiety, even in people who weren't depressed at the outset. DEPRESSION AND ALCOHOL DON'T MIX!